A dream is a wish your heart makes: 08/01/2005

it's no time to play a fool! everything's school school school...

haven't got my Consumer Behaviour txt, thus i haven't read any. I was half paying attention half msging Nigel while Cathy goes through really basic stuff. then there's this slide with XOXOXOXO and i'm like what the hell is this? how did she jump from such basic research stuff to XOXOXOXO?

Cathy: "Ok, i'm gonna ask someone to explain what this m.."

i was thinking to myself "walau what is this? she better don't call m..."

"ANG XIAO YING FANNY"

!@#$%^&@#$%^&*() I was blank man, i swear! i stared at her, can't believe my luck! the class got 40+ people, she must call ANG XIAO YING FANNY.

"come on, this is too easy for u..."

"hmm..." i can't rem what i said. X stands for some shit O stands for some shit. then XOXOXO means someother shit.

she was like, "ok... let's get someone else to help u. you can do the 2nd one"

she's damn persistent la. and when it came around, i still dunno how to answer. decided no point kay kiang, i just said "i'm not sure."

haha.. she finally gave up. was relieved she let me off, but really quite sad-I felt like a fool man. i hate this. this is like the most embarassing moment of the year! luckily i finally understood and when she asked for some volunteer to draw some stupid diagram, i voluneteered and redeemed myself. i hope i can get some participation marks / pity marks for being so brave.

fuck!

there are those people who act nice. please... if u want to wish me all the best, u wouldn't label ur blog as "what the fark".when i say "wish u all the best" to someone whom i could not love anymore, i mean it, and i DO wish he will find happiness somewhere else. although i might sound like a bitch, act like a bitch, pretend to be sore, i understand love is not having it all. u would want him/ her to be HAPPY. no matter what education u have, i believe everyone knows what happiness is - and i'm sure u have felt it before.

and u know what? i am single too! and i can go where i like. i'm looking for something... and i haven't found it. so i will not give up. i don't care if anyone thinks i'm playing games. i don't care if someone says i'm twirling anyone around my fingers, cos even if i am, it is definitely getting out of hand. (note pun) and since it is, i should stop before i burn my fingers (note pun)

and i should be learn to be less obliging, it's getting me more trouble than anything.

There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes, and it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows

I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else
Then we'll never see just what we're meant to be

- Bizzare Love Triangle

我的电脑变成华语，我很生气

He said, "I love you. -----------------------------------------------------------------I'm kidding."

i fell down today. sway man, me being the blur blur gong gong she me dou bu dong, walked on the narrow step just beside the lane where they illegal park in SMU. then my textbook and laptop too heavy, bue balance so i fell down. and on all fours. Man, it's a damn ugly fall. Quickly picked myself up and walked face-down. very painful! almost cried.

Italian class is fun. the prof is very friendly but guess wat? the whole lesson is in Italian. She does not explain in English what she's saying. I think it's tough but good; makes us try to interpret and get used to the slang. She uses hand signs to prompt us what she's talking about, and role plays with herself, which is quite cute.

Human Capital Management is f***ing boring. lucky 1. got Jasmine with me and 2. the class ended early.

I'll gonna read my Strategy text now. Ciao!

Back to school!

830 class. i was on time! and had time to shampoo hair in the morning too! (i usually dun shampoo in the early morn, hehe) Oh! and pearly's in the same class, cool! my Mondays and Fridays are rather irritating, cos i go to school at 830 and my day ends at 1000. dumb right?

so i went to Verts with Jas after class to sell her books, and there, Pearly, Jolene and I confirmed to join Sports Cardio by Bodyworks on Wednesdays. So that's work-out day. Then our Strategy project group (jas, cheryl, and forgot her name and I) went for lunch at Kopitiam. we got 20% discount, and the variety is good. I ate the chicken satay set. oh my goodness! $3.60 only and so heavenly!

then i met jaul to do his com. he looks distressed man. tsk tsk tsk, lucky I'm in SMU. I guess it's just NS men la, they find it hard to adjust to school. here's a secret. jaul dunno where's the apostrophe on the keyboard. hehe. lalala. Fear not! I'll be ur superwoman!

I don't have homework. hurray! and it didn't really feel like school at all. I'm glad to be back cos i saw many familiar faces! and managed to catch up a bit. So i can watch Stairway to Heaven tonight while somebody have to do project for Comms. lalala...

"NS guys are PERFECT FLINGS I'll tell you. You meet him up only on weekends to go out together, for a dinner, followed by a movie and then a perfect clubbing night or a chill out session with alochol of course. Then he'll head back to camp on weekdays and you will be able to go out with the other guys. Think about it ladies, is'nt it great?"

yea man. be mine.

this entry is for my girls.

i dunno how many of u actually look at my scrolling pictures. but this one.. haha... classic la.

Introducing Piglet:
the nickname is obvious when u look at her features closely. nuff said. :P she's innocent, girly, whiny, very whiny, extremely whiny and kind-hearted. Dancer

Jasmine: MJ queen. my confidant. comes in a package with Jacky. Dancer.

Celia: the people person. you see her "hi-ing" everywhere she goes. loud. straightforward. Dancer.

Bryna: another whiny b**** NTU did not make her a better person. my suan-mate. the only common thing we have - we're both non-dancers. (nanny nanny poo poo)

Dunno why today missed u people so much. maybe it's e pre-school syndrome. just a shout-out if u guys happen to pop by my blog despite ur busy schedule - LOVE YALL!

i love to sleep with my girlfriends! love those heart to heart talks.

Faithfulness
there's no such thing as an open relationship. If you love someone really deeply, you would be faithful. You wouldn't want those conditions where you can have a wife and still sleep around.

If you find yourself being in love with 2,3 persons at a time, it probably isn't love love. u love person 1 because he fucks well, person 2 because he's rich and person 3 because there is an emotional connection. that isn't love. yes, but the burning question is - then what is this lifestyle many of us are taking if it ain't love?

gonna work for the weekend, cos I simply cannot sustain my lifestyle (although i think i already spend very little.) i occasionally buy a nice dress, been to movies less frequently, eat in food courts... but still dunno where my $ went. damn it. 2 days before school starts but i can't rest or go out have fun; the feeling sux man. i have a feeling i will fall sick after the first day. mark my words.

HOME@Boat Quay

Amazingly Boat Quay is't the buzzling place it used to be (with Ah Bengs, Ah Lians, and cheap drinks) HOME is like the most "decent" place already. But then Kenneth* and I seem like too old for the crowd; all those JC, Poly kia, who dress till DAMN HIP HOP. I still can't really warm up to this idea of Singaporean kids with those bling bling and wat-nots. We just not suited la...

BUT! there's alot of pretty people. alot of pretty boys! i like~ haha... xiao didi... and i spotted this guy who plays Li Nanxing's son in Shuang Tian Zi Zun. and pretty people like Ngee Ann's school belle, Faith! Alson's there too.

Oh no, luckily i no school or work today. Having hangover... my head's still spinning. Can't seem to walk in a straight line. lucky i woke up too late for breakfast cos i totally feel like puking. gotta hide this sickness. Mummy can't know!

*when I say Kenneth, you know i have a new hair cut/ color again. Don't get shocked when u see me the next time. :)

bad eye day: one eye big one eye small. due to either lack of sleep or too much sleep. this time it's the latter. too much bumming. note new necklace and sister's jacket

yeah! i'm pretty happy today cos i watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory! then i had my fav frog's leg porridge at Geylang, and had some nice chat with sunflower.

It's really nice to receive souvenirs from friends who went overseas, because they thought of you when they were away!

How about being S-I-N-G-L-E

It can be tempting to stay single, with the freedom and all, but sometimes it gets tiring and u wish someone would pamper you. Take for example the flea market a few days ago. Pam and Jas' boyfriends came down to get their hands dirty. Cheryl's family came down. Lynn came later with bf. EVERYONE has their loved ones. and i appreciate how Jaul woke up at 6am on a Sunday to go collect pineapple tarts for my virgin flea market experience like a year ago. (althought i vaguely remember i coerced him into doing so). and what right do i have to expect a man to come down to help me sell 2nd hand make-up if he could go drink beer with his guys on book-out day if i refuse to recognise commitment?

it's like throwing a grenade and it comes around like a frisbee. PONG!

jaded.

u try and fail, then you'll never try again meh?

i feel like a zombie, i find it so hard to be moved. i tried to be nice. to push myself to do sacrifices. to want to go and buy breakfast for someone. but i am so fucking selfish/ lazy/ unconcerned/ simply stubborn to get my ass up. There must be someone else who can make me wanna do this like i enjoy it.

on one hand afraid to pop my head out of the shield, on the other secretly wishing someone would take my breath away.

men endeavour to sink us still lower, merely to render us alluring objects for a moment; and women, intoxicated by the adoration which men, under the influence of their senses, pay them, do not seek to obtain a durable interest in their hearts, or to become the friends of the fellow-creatures who find amusement in their society.

who is to blame? men being easily influenced by their senses (otherwise simply put, their dicks) or women too hard-up for affection?

Me in Wenxian's house packing stuff ; our $2 corner; Pamelyn writing signboards
Expensive corner ; Limited Edition Dior Bling Bling; Cheryl selling her brand new stuff
Yup, Dior again ; customer trying size; me n my new hairstyle :)

Flea Market @ UOB Plaza, Boat Quay

It's damn fun! I bought a book "A vindication of the rights of woman" - not a self-help book, HARLOW!!! n persuaded the seller to sell me a poem with a lot of vulgar words in it, he decided to give me for free. *wink*

Weili's bro, Weiyi was selling flip flops and since it was for Project Coza, I got a pair.

And another lady seller who was damn interested in the limited edition Dior set came to the stall for 3 times, so i gave her a discount la (since she so sincere - sorry WX hehe) n bought from her this necklace which i really like!

And I've got this Emily the strange bag from WX too.

And a top from British India from Lynn.

That's about it. Didn't earn a cent cos I was selling WX's stuff - all proceeds go to WX's give-Fanny-a-treat fund. Spent quite a bit but damn shiok! I will flea again next time if i got chance, this time i wanna sell my wardrobe.

12 August 2002

Announcement

'Heritage Walk - An Enchanting Evening', which is at
the Singapore River Promenade right in front of the
UOB Plaza along Boat Quay.

Heritage Walk - Steering Committee and co-organiser
Lianhe Wanbao is organizing an event called the
Heritage Walk: An enchanting Evening. An Enchanting
Evening is a historic exploration kicking off a
two-week long public exhibition of Singapore's 40
years of nation building. The hunt will see four
groups beginning a journey from four starting points
and cover 40 different locations on the trail, leading
them through historical landmarks and activities from
significant moments in Singapore's history.

OK, So wat has it got to do with you, or even me right?

There will be a flea market and I am one of the vendors (with a few friends). We will be selling some unused/ seldom used stuff like CDs, clothes, make-up etc. So please support!

Date & Time : 13 August 2005 - Saturday, 5pm - 10pm

Venue: UOB Plaza

what does it mean when a guy says " I adore you"?
It simply means " i like u v v v much, but u will never be my wife"

ha ha ha...

there are times when u see a girl, and at one glance, u know ur girlfriend beats her HANDS-DOWN. but STILL, u get tempted. WHY? because she's not yours.

Men.

National Day Fireworks from Benjamin Shears Bridge

Shot using my Nokia 7280 phone.

ouch, growing up is painful and "not a girl, not yet a woman" is a tough stage and i thought those kinda lyrics about growing pains are bullshit because i have reasonably good friends, good grades, and life has been a bed of roses.

just 4 months before i turn 21, the values i uphold suddenly looked grey. It's as if rules can bend if certain circumstances allow. now the whole world is overtaking me. People who used to seek my advice turn around and put their arms around my shoulders, saying, "Fanny, take care"

he knocked sense into me so hard my heart ached n i cried. Shit, u're spelling reality r-e-a-l-i-t-y in my face, making me see my hideous face in the mirror. ashamed. i thought of myself many months back when I held onto my beliefs strongly. like a girl. like a girl. I seem to even smile in a different way nowadays. I'm so afraid. SO afraid you don't recognise me anymore, but i can never be the same again. Why not? Because the circumstances have changed.

Secret Date to Sentosa

haha... please, don't be mistaken. I absolutely adore my friend but have decided to pixelate his face as a joke. (to fit my title) Please don't be offended! hahahaha...

there's no sun today, so didn't get a tan as planned. :(

AGM

more of a social gathering at Shawn's place. only got down to business for 10 mins, the rest of the time was spent drinking wine, eating old chang kee, pasta, gelato, brownies, etc.

A semester ahead as HR Manager, I wonder if i can actually do my part and contribute to the club. Maybe it's time to release my potential in the area of PR haha...

Huiping's 21st birthday. Actual = 1 Aug
East Coast Pit 48

My longest known friend - from kindergarten. I was so late to turn up that all the rest of the pri sch friends left. Missed Qili and Jiayi n guys. Xiuwen's 6 months into pregnancy, got a loving husband who is always by her side. I see the happiness of a mother, the anticipation of a treasure. The brainstorming of a name of this baby girl.

Huiping's got her handsome bf around on her 21st. SHIT LA. I got a phobia of having no one to spend my birthday with.

Beach Cavana

Travis came down to East Coast. with his friends Caroline and Wai Wai. 4 of us had a few drinks, these working people are talking about business, but i would say it's good exposure though i can't understand most of the technical jargons. networking~~

Balaclava

A night when events happen too fast. Honestly, it's my first time meeting soooo many guys that I can't rem their names.

It was my last night as an intern, Kelis, Jacinta and I (n supposedly Pearly) had decided to go for a drink at Balaclava. Unfortuntately, P had a last min play to attend, so TOO BAD!

Jacinta & I

Episode One:

Group 1: 2 bankers (Late twenties)
Group 2: 4 men from Nokia. (Early thirties)

Group 2:
Young girl, don't smoke/ drink so much. Bad for u.
Thanks.
That Indian guy n the fat one are trying to be funny. Be careful.
I know. I'm smarter than u know.
Guys r all the same, including me. We have only one purpose. I bet those 2 are married already. n blah blah blah

* and surprise! those Nokia guys have never seen and touched my 7280 before.

Group 1:
U see that 4 guys there? I bet they r married with kids. n blah blah blah

and for a quarter of the night we were struggling in between these 2 groups of childish men, but pretty interesting people la.

Episode 2:

And then there was this ex-pilot who is damn super cute, trust me. Since he approached us, we became friends!

Episode 3:

Velvet Underground

Change place to Velvet. Honestly, it's not my kinda place. Since Jacinta's property agent friends - who r quite "Uncle" came down and happen to allow us free entry into Velvet, I had half a glass of Mallacan (which sux) then I quickly zhao to Phuture. HAHAHAHA

There, my last night as an intern. Life is just beginning.

I wish I haven't not been so "kian song" meaning hard up for excitement. met up with the complain queen and bf and went to Al Majlis for some shisha. and ended up vomiting cos I sucked too much.

this is not the first time i tried the shisha. previous times it was just sucking flavored air. and so was this time, BUT not until waiter added charcoal, then i inhaled deeply, and i finally got a kick out of it. and hell yes! this time it felt like smoking 5 puffs of cigarettes in a go. so i "kian song" lor. while the couple carried on talking abt plans to make money, i was puffing away, blowing away like nobody's business. then suddenly i went quiet. cos my stomach felt funny. ok... never puke. then we continued with the topic. time to leave, and i puke just beside complain queen's bf's car. lucky never kena. haha...

*i really hate the word "kian song" and it's just damn inappropriate for a girl, but i can't think of a more apt description for myself and my actions for craving for bigger n deeper puffs of shisha just for the kick. so dun ever use the word "kian song" on me. only i can say myself, u cannot say me. :P

Anyway, I will go there again. but this time i will control myself and stop when it's enough. haha... dun be so kian song

Fickle Pickle

And we were toking about commitment.

I need a man, who's up on his game
And can give me some affection, satisfy me many ways
Are you the one to do it for me playa?
Then maybe I can hook up witcha later

a few casual exchange with sunflower and furry snag: we now know. Guys are as insecure as girls. They are scared of players. and those lover friends kinda thing... is just that. They don't last. i dunno how it feels at the end of the day. do they... feel empty after all?

But I'm not trying to be your girlfriend
I ain't even trying to lock you in